Dating a nice guy
I believe great equal partnerships are about seeing how we can work together and respecting each others qualities as individuals.If we keep slamming the nice guy for showing up as emotional or helpful, the other side of the coin is sending a thumbs down to women being logical or ambitious.
Sharing the stage with an equally ambitious man isn’t impossible but it requires humility, teamwork and respect.I know you know this already, as I’m sure you have tried to date the Nice Guy in the past.I bet you’ve turned up for the date, done your best to get into the zone of finding him hot, then at some stage bailed out with a ‘I’m just not feeling the spark message.’ Maybe he didn’t challenge you enough, maybe he held off of the all important kiss, either way his lack of killer instinct has acted as a turn off.But as he calls the shots, you may find that unless you’re okay to go along with all of them that you get left behind.If you see yourself in an equal partnership with a man who is going to pitch in to help you out when you need it too I am going to advocate that you should date the nice guy, If you keep seeing his tendency to offer help, to work around you and to be emotionally available to you as ‘weak’ or ‘boring’ we are playing into the same old game, which says women can’t be assertive and men can’t be emotional.Dr Glover said: "Others typically do not realise these contracts exist and are often surprised when the Nice Guy lashes out at their failure to keep their end of the deal." And when things don't go their way, they often complain that they've been "friend-zoned" despite the target of their affections never being interested in the first place.
On the Reddit forum dedicated to the subject, the ulterior motives of Nice Guys are highlighted using social media posts and screengrabs: Whilst it may be that the object of your affections is only interested in friendship, Dr Marczyk believes that if you find yourself feeling resentful about being in the 'friend-zone', you need to change yourself to increase your chances of getting out.
To accomplish career goals you need a man who is supportive of them, who doesn’t mess with your schedule, and who treats you with respect.
It took me some time to work out that the qualities I thought made for the sexy ‘boss’ guy or ‘hot’ artist I wanted were deeply incompatible with me: I am the first woman to get annoyed if people brand women who have career goals as ‘bossy’, ‘domineering’ or generally unfeminine. But why I’m telling you that you have to date the Nice Guy is because if we want men who are more supportive and collaborative when it comes to our non-dating life goals we need to start praising the qualities these guys bring to the table.
After all, don’t rom-coms teach us that ‘the one’ is usually the one who was there all along?
Nice Guys get a bad reputation as boring based on some of their ‘good’ qualities.
If changing your lifestyle is too much time and energy, there’s another option, according to Marczyk: “Alternatively, make your intentions clear from the start and if they aren't returned, don't wait around.” He says that you can avoid the friend-zone by avoiding the friendships altogether: “One reason nice guys will stick around is because the less nice ones won't tolerate their desires not being returned and settling for less than they want.” But couldn’t you just learn to be happy in the friend-zone? “By definition here, one party wants more from the relationship than they're realistically going to get.