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Dating phobia

He was cooperative from the beginning, and progressed nicely doing therapy.

dating phobia-29dating phobia-71

His strong anticipation and belief that he wouldn’t do well at social interactions and in social events became a self-fulfilling prophecy, and his belief came true: he didn’t do well.If your beliefs are strong that you will NOT do well, then it is likely you will not do well.Therefore, thoughts, beliefs, and emotions need to be changed.I’ll stumble around and choke up...I’ll blurt out the rest of my message so fast I’m afraid they won’t understand me. At times when he felt he simply had to go to these social events, Jim was very ill-at-ease, never knew what to say, and felt the silences that occurred in conversation were his fault for being so backward.Sometimes I have to repeat myself and that is excruciatingly embarrassing........" Jim felt great humiliation and embarrassment about this afterwards: he couldn’t even make a telephone call to a stranger without getting extremely anxious and giving himself away. He knew he made everyone else uncomfortable and ill-at-ease.Years earlier, Jim had worked at a small, locally-owned record and tape store, where he knew the owner and felt a part of the family. After a day full of this pressure, anxiety and negative thinking, Jim would leave work feeling fatigued, tired, and defeated.

The business was slow and manageable and he never found himself on display in front of lines of people. Meanwhile, his wife, being naturally sociable and vocal, continually enabled Jim not to have to deal with any social situations. At home, she answered the telephone and made all the calls out.

He could trace his shyness to boyhood and his social anxiety to his teenage years.

He had married a girl he knew well from high school and had almost no other dating history.

Unusual in this situation is that Jim’s wife remained loyal to him, understood his problem to some extent, and even seemed to enjoy her role as the family’s "social director".

The more and more she did for Jim, the more and more he could avoid.

He and his wife, Lesley, had three children, two girls and a boy.