Trail membership online dating
The general Narcissistic cycle goes something like this – Narcissist finds new meat, lavishes her with attention and moves really fast – he keeps former girlfriends on ice by feeding them hope and nuggets of attention and affection – the new meat loses her shine and she gets relegated to the harem – he may bounce back to an old harem member in the interim while he looks for someone new and on and on it goes.
Consequently, he accumulates an assortment of people (Narcissistic Supply) he can turn to whenever he has a need for them.This woman even knew that he was dating other women and was willing at all costs to still have him in her life.Somewhere in the back of our minds, in some crazy rationale we tell ourselves things like, “oh he’ll date someone else and then realize how much better he had it with me and he’ll come back.” That might be true in the short term, but by showing him that you’ll put up with him dating other women, he’ll do just that and then come back when that doesn’t work out and then leave again…all the while you are on an emotional rollercoaster never knowing where you stand or when he’s coming or going.She was so ready and willing to sell herself short, just to have a piece of him – any piece.It’s almost like the Narcissist casts a spell on his victims, by emotionally extracting away their power, so they feel weak and helpless without him.I recall speaking to a woman, who was involved with the very last Narcissist I dated and she told me that after our Narcissist had hurt her again and again, by constantly blowing hot and cold and making it quite clear that he was never going to give her the relationship that she wanted, she had actually offered to be ‘friends with benefits,’ and even went so far as to tell him that, no guy would ever match up to him.
This, after he repeatedly treated her like gum on the bottom of his shoe.
Harem members may or may not know about each other. It often comes as a great surprise to most women that the man they’ve been obsessing over, has actually been bouncing around from woman to woman.
Narcissists like secrecy, because if his harem members ever compared notes, the web of lies that they’ve been weaving would come crashing down and he would lose his stash of supply.
So if you honestly think you are going beat the odds – think again.
I’m not saying men and women can’t be ‘just’ friends, but that distinction happens only when both parties have absolutely no interest in being together. With their charm they can usually swoop any woman off their feet, but their specialty lies in their ability to keep women hanging on. Sussing out those that are overly giving, that rationalize and make excuses for other people’s bad behavior and those that the Narcissist has successfully managed down their expectations, so that they treat every little nugget of attention like a lottery winning.
At worst it shows a user mentality and someone that likes to keep his options open.